After hours of hard work, dedication, sacrifice, and a little sweat, I've been accepted into the family of Trader Joe's, Store 22 (Oceanside).
The hazing was easier than I expected (based on some of the stories I'd heard from veteran Crew Members this past week), and while being locked in the freezer for 75 minutes and being beaten 48 times with a container of Soft Spreadable Light Cream Cheese was trying, I didn't even need my suture kit! I was actually doing OK till they gave me 23 minutes to prepare a dish from Quick Scrambled Egg Whites, Organic Vanilla Bean Yogurt, Butternut Squash, and Marinated White Salmon Fillets. Realizing that these obviously were not the ingredients for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich I promptly got on my knees and prayed for mercy, from anybody.
Oh, how they laughed.
Upon determing that I couldn't cry my way out of it, and that I needed a new plan of attack, I hastily prepared the only other dish I could think of. After 12 minutes and 36 seconds of furious labor I presented Marie, Pattie, and Sue (the Demo Dames Deity) with Zach's White Salmon Fillets Casserole Omelet Surprise (an off-shoot of Zach's Famous Tuna Casserole).
Oh, how they frowned.
I think one of them even got sick... which I couldn't concern myself with because by that time I was, once again, intently focused on a particular container of Soft Spreadable Light Cream Cheese.
In the end, my Captain and First Mate (standing by the store's Steering Wheel in a Tiki-Torch lit ceremony) welcomed me "aboard" and presented me with my name tag, and a bag of Trader Joe's Just A Handful of Roasted Unsalted Almonds (you'd think that marketing would have come up with a more "marketable" name than that, but, Oh well...).
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