I'm sick

Typically, about halfway through a dream as odd and long as the one I had last night, my conscious thought process recognizes that this odd contrivance of my subconscious is a result of my body having some physical ailment (i.e. When I get sick, I have really weird dreams, and I'm able to recognize that this is a "because-I'm-sick" dream, as I'm witness to the dream itself).

The dreams in and of themselves were no exception to what I've experienced in the past. From Ewan McGregor and Daniel Radcliffe (Harry of Harry Potter notoriety) in what will have to be the next Terminator movie, to Boba Fett in a weird parallel universe of Battlestar Galactica where the title of "Supreme Race" was to be decided not in ship-to-ship battle amongst Raptors and Raiders, Battlestars and Basestars, but on a basketball court with the top 5 cylon centurions going up against humanities top 5 13-and-under ball players--with a defected toaster (the metal and not the fleshy kind) in a rather hairy costume as the mascot for the humans.

Yeah, I'm definitely not feeling well right now : )

Though, there was something unique this time. At one particular moment of the Battlestar dream, I was aware at what a great job my subconscious was doing at weaving not just images and sounds together, but an actual story complete with an "Ohh, it was him!" plot twist moment when my conscious recognized that one of the characters was not just a trivial supporting role in the cast, but in fact a crucial character. I was amazed at how taken in with this particular story my conscious thought process was.

If that doesn't make sense, or you think I'm making it up somehow (and you may be right and I don't know it), my feelings won't be hurt.

I'm going to try and get some more rest now (that the gardener/lawn-mower guy has left).

In the beam

The sand underneath my feet me was bright, reflecting the light of the full moon above a cloudless night sky washed clean from the recent rains. The waves crashed, the moon-light reflecting on the the tops of the rollers, as I slowly meandered down the deserted, white beach.

The sand directly around me suddenly grew in brightness. A circle of light 30 feet across centered itself on me.

"What could it be?" I questioned, a slight sense of fear beginning to rise. No sooner had thoughts of some extraordinary celestial event begun to crystalize as my mind feaverishly went over the possible imaginative scenarios when, the light suddenly faded.

I looked up, and saw it--a red, flashing light appx 100 feet above me quickly moving inland. Then I heard it--the rapid thumping of the main rotor of a helicopter, it's sound previously masked by the rumbling ocean.

My eyes followed it as it moved over the first row of condos and houses along the beach, it's million candle spotlight shining it's beam down upon more unsuspecting people.

Misinterpreted Lyrics

Song Title

Artist

Actual lyrics

My Interpretation of the lyrics

Africa

Toto

There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do

There's nothing that a hundred men on mars could ever do

Band of Gold

Freda Payne

Since you've been gone, all that's left is a band of gold

Since you've been gone, all that's left is a bag of bones

It's official, I'M OFFICIAL!!!!

After hours of hard work, dedication, sacrifice, and a little sweat, I've been accepted into the family of Trader Joe's, Store 22 (Oceanside).

The hazing was easier than I expected (based on some of the stories I'd heard from veteran Crew Members this past week), and while being locked in the freezer for 75 minutes and being beaten 48 times with a container of Soft Spreadable Light Cream Cheese was trying, I didn't even need my suture kit!  I was actually doing OK till they gave me 23 minutes to prepare a dish from Quick Scrambled Egg Whites, Organic Vanilla Bean Yogurt, Butternut Squash, and Marinated White Salmon Fillets.  Realizing that these obviously were not the ingredients for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich I promptly got on my knees and prayed for mercy, from anybody.

     Oh, how they laughed.

Upon determing that I couldn't cry my way out of it, and that I needed a new plan of attack, I hastily prepared the only other dish I could think of.  After 12 minutes and 36 seconds of furious labor I presented Marie, Pattie, and Sue (the Demo Dames Deity) with Zach's White Salmon Fillets Casserole Omelet Surprise (an off-shoot of Zach's Famous Tuna Casserole).

     Oh, how they frowned.

I think one of them even got sick... which I couldn't concern myself with because by that time I was, once again, intently focused on a particular container of Soft Spreadable Light Cream Cheese.

In the end, my Captain and First Mate (standing by the store's Steering Wheel in a Tiki-Torch lit ceremony) welcomed me "aboard" and presented me with my name tag, and a bag of Trader Joe's Just A Handful of Roasted Unsalted Almonds (you'd think that marketing would have come up with a more "marketable" name than that, but, Oh well...).